happy new year!

Happy new year everybody!
wanna be better this year- the spirit is willing...
yes, i realise its only the 31st of december and le jour de l'an isn't till tomorrow- so? i like to be ahead of the times. :P
take care of yourselves- i've learned it isn't being selfish. if u r happy with urself (and that includes physical appearance) i find that chances are u'll be better equipped to handle all the paos, poeys and mannas you encounter. (i love konkani! simple words like these can be soooo insulting!)
out of the mouth of babes, eh kari?
traffic is already crazy in my neck of the sandy grey woods. it always is at this time of year.
make a resolution- fight for goa. please don't be like all the pathetic, apathetic people who think everything is a joke. this land is ours and no one has the right to take it from us.
its more important than even plus points- and any xavierite knows how important that is!
that's all folks! ( for this year, at least)

Letter

Dear You Know Who You Are,
I’ve had about enough. You think that whatever you are going through is so much more than the rest of us. Well here’s a news flash: you are a selfish bastard who can’t appreciate the sacrifices his loved ones are making for him.
I’m not saying my life is more difficult than yours, far from it! I know I have it easier and better in many respects- I was blessed with brains, for one. You are a complete and total idiot, though, for screwing yourself over repeatedly and fooling yourself into believing that you like it.
I wonder now, if I still love you. I know I’m supposed to, but its not like you are worthy. Its not like you reciprocate. Every time I try to get in touch with you, you aren’t there. Every time I do talk to you, it’s about something superficial and trivial. Why are you so afraid to let me in? I’ve never given you a reason to distrust me or to think that I’ve abused your trust. Do you not have faith in my judgment or reasoning any more?
I thought you’d learn something after the last big thing that happened to you. Apparently, you didn’t. You are still the same idiot who won’t confront his issues. How can they overwhelm you? You are such a big man, aren’t you? And yet you haven’t yet reached the lonely conclusion that I am slowly and painfully arriving at: you don’t need any one to validate you, except yourself.
Thanks to you, I can’t do many things I would love to try. As one of the older ones, I have to set you an example. Insane expectations!
I don’t know if you will ever read this. I don’t know if I will ever be able to sit you down and talk to you about it. You know what you are doing with your life; you are an informed person. I just really needed to get this off my chest.
I like someone. Did you know that? Would you have cared even if I had told you? I go through the same rubbish you do. I handle it differently, not necessarily better. But that doesn’t matter, does it? To you I am just who you think I am and you don’t really want to get to know who I think I am.
I’ve tried and tried and I can’t try anymore. I’m giving up on you. Don’t think you’ll notice, but I guess I should give you fair warning. I don’t think you deserve any more sympathy or understanding or loyalty. The tap’s run dry.
So long. We can go our separate ways. And for some strange reason, I will always love you.
Me.

Merry Christmas

Merry christmas
Even though it is christmas eve, I hope some people from college fall down and break their bones.That's all I want for christmas this year;)

45 yrs

http://myworldinverse.blogspot.com/2006/12/disillusioned.html
happy liberation day
how many of you turned up at the rally yesterday?
fight dammit!
ndtv did a report on how the 'sussegado' goans were finally waking up to the violations and illegal activities blah blah blah... do they seriously think we didn't know? and anyway- the Regional Plan is worth more than 20-odd minutes of airtime or whatever it's called. ndtv airs stuff on saving delhi and mumbai- well i think goa needs its own savegoa show.
hmph... margaret alva said something about how every transaction that takes place is corrupt in some way- does it have to be?
45 years, goans! 45 years! what have we achieved since then? dubious distictions in politics? sale of our invaluable land?
argh! powerlessness and disillusionment- now i know what the post ww 2 writers felt!

random rant

i don't have anything in particular to rant about today...actually happy to be myself. i know i an say this safely: i had a good time today at the reunion, even though i didn't want to go for it in the first place. not my reunion, still in coll, remember?
hmmm this seems to be the post of random thoughts.
here's one: i don't know how they manage it, but guys are smart and stupid at the same time. the stuff you want them to get, the stuff u try to say very subtlely, they don't get, and the stuff u try not to day but that also gives off vibes, they get.
my comp must be male- it doesn't like me.
i think i would have been a very nice boy- had i been born one. but guess i would have been miserab;e then cause all the girls would see me as their bro.
oh yeah- it is highly unfair that the male female ratio in college is approx 1:2. that means every guy has to be shared by at least two girls. (of cousre this is only a hypothesis. i have no data to back it up)
and i don't think its fair thatpeople seem to give less of a crap tis year (abt plus points) than they did last year- especially since we came 4th last year! we still rock tho! ty s -watch out! we WILL kick ur ass(es)! heh heh! u know i love (some of) u! ;)

another one!

if u are totally bekar take a dekko at my other blog, myworldinverse.blogspot.com

apathy

feel so damn frustrated... why is it that every time you try to do something good people always end up criticising you?
i think i'm finally and unfortunately becoming like most goans: apathetic. i'm starting to give less of a crap. isn't that just wonderful? i'm so tired of almost all the people i have to deal with, i just want to run away.
is it wrong to not want to live anymore- to be indifferent to life?
one good thing happening in my poky little college: people are finally taking an interest in something. it isn't plus pts., its something far more important: the regional plan.
antestor and kari, u guys are doing a good job educating people. kudos to the 2 of you. if the xavierites get mobilised and actually do go for the morcha on the 18th, it will be because of your impassioned and tireless efforts. this week, you guys are my inspiration.
wake up and smell the exposed earth people!

regional plan

amchem goem amkam zai! if babush gets the upper hand...ohmigod save our land!
just 2 of the slogans i shouted at a morcha last month. seems like all the xavierites on blogspot are posting stuff abt the regional plan...but doesn't seem like a lot of people actually give a damn.

well folks, here's your chance (yes, you o sussegado goan) to do something. get off your sorry fat asses/ nonexistent asses (a lot of goans have flat bums)! goans of goa- unite! you have your land- for now-, that thing you fight like misers for, dragging relatives to court, grabbing as much as you can...and yet you are willing to sell it for a blinkin song! i'm ashamed!
is it the heat that makes us so apathetic, so lethargic?

well since we are too lazy to think for ourselves, here's something to follow:-
read this and attend: The SAVE GOA campaign is organising a massive protest RALLY on Monday 18th Decemberat 3.00pm at Azad Maidan in Panjim to demand that the Goa Govt. immediately withdrawthe Regional Plan 2011 and to send a strong message to investors & shareholders not to support the various projects detrimental to the environment, social & cultural heritage and livelihood of the people of Goa.

people, i'm serious. i'm so serious, i'm not even going to say anything abt the stupidly depressing and exhilirating feeling i have right now- damn it! i did it again!

oh and for those of u who have no time but a lot of money- SAVE GOA wrist bands (costing Rs.10 /- each),stickers and leaflets are available for circulation.

( stuff in bold type copied and pasted from a GOACAN e-mail)

we may never get another chance. sounds dire, doesn't it? well, the situation is an extreme one, requiring extreme waking up! friends, goans and countrymen (and women) the time is now!

crushes? bah humbug!

You know what I hate? I hate the possibility of liking someone. Actually having a crush on someone is bad enough, but a maybe is definitely worse. I can’t believe I actually told my dear guy friend that I might like this guy! Friend and I have been getting along quite well ever since I had a serious chat with him about him being a jackass to us (the group).
I hate liking people because I hate feeling vulnerable; I don’t know if this guy likes me back. I don’t know if I want to know. I know this is something I can suppress, but I don’t know if I want to.
I feel like this guy might be in my league; can’t honestly say that about any other guy I’ve liked.
Why is it that when you like someone and you know it should be kept a secret ( why should everyone know?) you can’t help telling people, even those you know have big mouths? its Day 2 and I've told about 7 people so far. SHEESH!
I feel so stupid: I’m telling all of cyberspace too!
Luckily, the Guy himself doesn’t know- and I think I’m going to keep it that way until…hell, till kingdom come!
And, yes, I know I was cribbing about not having a guy earlier- but I refuse to show interest when none is shown in me.